Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Give Up What You WANT To Get What You NEED



In our post titled, ‘Learning To Get What You Want In A Negotiation’ we discussed the importance of separating your positions (what you say you want) from your interests (the underlying need that shapes your positions). 

You can expect that in most scenarios, unless the other party completely folds, it is highly unlikely that you will get 100% of our interests met.  To increase the chances that you get your most important interests fulfilled, while simultaneously maximize the probability of an agreement, we should use the log-rolling technique.  Using this approach, you give up on the interests that are of lower value to you (and possibly higher value to the other party) to secure your own high priority interests.  It also shows you to be reasonable person who is willing to compromise when the situation asks for it.




The first step in using log-rolling is to prioritize your interests in terms of their value to you.  (If you believe that they are all equally important, then you are setting up the log-rolling technique to fail.) Next, you should use active listening skills to find out the interests and priorities of the other party.  This will give the concessions you provide during the give and take process to be more effective. 

Let’s look at how logrolling works in the following scenario:

Scenario 
Jill is a recent graduate who is currently unemployed and living at home.  Because of the tough economy and her lack of experience, she is finding it difficult to land a job.  Jill is currently interviewing with a company that is exactly in the field in which she want to focus her career.  Working at this could give her an enormous amount of experience but the salary for this position is below the market rate. Jill desperately wants to move out of her parents’ house and has just been invited to share an apartment with two of her best friends from college. Jill has been offered a position at the company and is now negotiating the terms of her possible employment.

We already know that Jill will not get everything that she wants in her negotiations, but first let’s take a look at their interests: (i) to gain employment; (ii) to gain experience in her chosen field; (iii) to be able to move out of her parents’ house in order to get more space and privacy. Now that we know this, how should she approach this negotiation?

Though Jill really wants to move out of her parents’ house, and the salary for this position would not allow this, she believes that having a job in a bad economy plus getting experience in her chosen field are more important.  Her employer, is a start-up company with limited financial means so an increase in the salary offered was not an option.  However, they do have a lot of responsibilities for new hires;  so, Jill will get hands-on experience from the get-go. 

Upon accepting the position, Jill gave up on her desire to move in with her college friends because her income would not allow it.  She decided to stay in her parents' home managed to get some extra space and privacy by turning the basement into an apartment in exchange for a nominal rent that she could afford on her lower salary.

As you can see, log-rolling only works if you are prepared.  As such, you must already know what your interests and priorities are; you must be willing to engage in active listening to find out about the interests and priorities of the other party to the deal; and you must try to encourage a collaborative environment so that will encourage a more open give and take process. 

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Zen Symbols Explained: The Lotus Flower


The word zen, at least in the West, tends to denote beautiful imagery of nature, calmness and relaxation.  However, some symbols appear over and over and haven't you always wondered about their true meaning?  One of these is the lotus flower and that is what we will be examining in this post.

The lotus flower (at least those used for zen symbolism) grows in muddy ponds.  However, upon maturity, the flower emerges from the mud perfectly clean and unspoiled.  Because of this ability to repel the muck in which it was submerged, the lotus flower represents purity and spiritual awakening in Buddhism. 

Here in the West, the lotus flower has also come to symbolize: (i) a person overcoming a difficult background/upbringing to achieve success; or (ii) a person who have ‘found the light’ after difficult emotional pain.  These views, in essence, emphasize the beautiful lotus flower’s triumph over the dirty muddy water.

However,remember  zen represents balance and harmony. Think about it, without the muddy water, there could be no lotus flower. From seed to maturity, it provides sustenance. As we celebrate the beauty of the flower remember that it is still firmly rooted in the mud. 

In zen, the flower of the lotus plant represents our spirit. So, the emergence of the flower from the mud without any dirt or taint, is symbolic of our ability to be in the world while our spirit remains pure. Like the lotus flower we should use the ‘impurity’ of the world to help us grow spiritually.

In zen, lotus flowers of different color represent different points on the spiritual journey.


Blue Lotus

When you first choose to walk away from the attachments to the things of the world, you are symbolized by a bud just breaking the surface of the mud and the blue lotus flower.



White Lotus
There is a stage on the zen spiritual journey where you become a Bodhisattva. Here your spirit is awakened to the wonder of existence, but you have decided to dedicate your life to helping those who are still caught up in the attachments of the world. The Bodhisattva's spiritual perfection and mental purity is represented by the white lotus flower.

 The Pink Lotus
This represents the highest level of spiritual enlightenment and awakening – that of the Buddha. 


Another Tidbit


The lotus flower’s initial emergence from the muck occurs over a period of a few days.  Over this time, the flower comes through in the morning, clean and unspoiled; then it closes its petals in the afternoon and re-immerses itself back in the muddy waters.  It then repeats the process of re-emergence and re-immersion over a period of about three days. Though this doesn’t appear in zen, I like to think of this ability as being representative of how perseverance will pay off.


Here are some lotus products that I like...
Get more info about the lotus flower at Lotus Flower Meaning