NON-VERBAL Communication and You

SCENARIO: AT WORK

Employee Jack wonders: 'I generally get along with everyone at work, why can't I connect with my supervisors and managers?'


Colleagues: Jack is “too intense.” Rather than look at you, he devours you with his eyes. And if he takes your hand, he lunges to get it and then squeezes so hard it hurts. Jack is a caring guy but has a terrible time being in sync with people. This awkwardness limits his ability to advance at work. He just isn’t seen as being good with others.

SCENARIO: DEALING WITH A POTENTIAL CLIENT

Businesswoman Celine wonders: 'I have just given a well-prepared presentation showing how I can effectively help a prospective client but I still could not close the deal. Why?'


Client: Celine work was the best we have seen and she has the best credentials but there is just something about her... I just can't see myself working closely with her.

Look At How All of Us Perceive 
Those Who Are Communicating?

In a prior post, we discussed the importance of non-verbal communication as it relates to conflict in the workplace.  However, as the above scenario shows, non-verbal communication whether you:

• are interviewing for a job; 
• meeting with potential clients; 
• seeking a promotion; or 
• dealing with your colleagues around the office.

The Factors That Go Into Non-Verbal Communication Include:

     1.  SPATIAL RELATIONS

a.      Relative positions while communicating

b.      Proximity to each other during the discussion

    2.  BODY LANGUAGE

a.      Eye contact

b.      Arm position

c.       Posture

d.      Personal Appearance

   3. SPEECH PATTERNS

a.      Pace

b.      Volume

c.       Pitch

d.      Tone

   4.  TIMLINESS

a.      Promptness or Tardiness

b.      Primacy and Recency

   6. THE SENSES WE REFER TO WHEN WE SPEAK

a.      Visual (“I See what you mean”)

b.      Auditory (“That sounds great to me”)

c.       Touch (“That feels right to me”

Putting it into Action

The way you position or use your body can be calming or could aggravate a situation.

You should:

• Use calm body language - a relaxed posture with your hands unclenched and an attentive expression.
• Get on the other person's physical level. If they are seated, try kneeling or bending over, rather than standing over them.
• Give the other person enough physical space, usually about  3 feet.

More importantly, you should not:

• Pose in a challenging stance, such as putting your hands on your hips, pointing your finger, waving your arms, or crossing your arms.
• Glare or stare, which may be interpreted as challenging.

Learn more about how to improve your non-verbal communication skills